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white flowers falling toward a white sky
Created on 2002-11-08 18:03:21 (#769477), last updated 2008-02-17
313 comments received, 347 comments posted
Basic Account [Gift]
1,346 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 3 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | n_n |
|---|---|
| Website: | not really. |
BioWhy I continue to write here and let off my excess feelings is a mystery to me. Why you would want to read about it is a great mystery.
I'm apparently stuck in an infinite loop of optimism, hard work, decline into miserable failure, depression, hope, optimism...
I have social anxiety disorder and clinical depression. I'm not on meds, I'm not sure if I should be or if I can or should beat this on my own.
I used to be a truant in high school. I hate it when other people refer to me as lazy during those times. Only I should hate on myself when I'm feeling really down and then remember that it's okay to have problems, it's okay to not do the best. No one should reinforce negative thoughts when there's an attempt at positivism.
I sadly like Japanese culture. Anime, music, traditional culture. I despise the term "otaku". I probably spend too much time on the computer and the internet, but mostly afraid to make and maintain friendships. I dislike that I fit this stereotype, but I know I have much more to offer than fanatic fandom (which I don't practice) and obsession. I have a mind and a personality.
If I could, and I think I can, I would do my best to work hard to create a better world. Even if it's only a little thing, at least things get better. What I would love to do is to do great humanitarian work and help people all over, at home, around the world.
I wish politics weren't so nasty, deceiving and disheartening. If only true champions of the people could succeed without the support of money and corrupt businesses.
After spending a great portion of my life hiding my feelings, I want to stop. I want to be honest. I don't want to pretend to be happy just because someone else wants me to.. it doesn't make me feel better.
I'm a little sad that I'm not as well read as I should be, though I know that I'm more well read than most, I don't put myself to other people's standards. I believe I'm intelligent and I can think and explore ideas, but because I'm not as well read, I feel inferior when people want to go into specialized discussion. I may not know everything, but I'd like to listen. Sometimes, I may not agree, but hopefully I'll be rational enough not to be do so in a aggressive/defensive manner.
Just a little bit.. a little bit at a time, let's make everything better.
various alias I go or have gone by:
- cygnet
- kalisa
- Verona
I'm apparently stuck in an infinite loop of optimism, hard work, decline into miserable failure, depression, hope, optimism...
I have social anxiety disorder and clinical depression. I'm not on meds, I'm not sure if I should be or if I can or should beat this on my own.
I used to be a truant in high school. I hate it when other people refer to me as lazy during those times. Only I should hate on myself when I'm feeling really down and then remember that it's okay to have problems, it's okay to not do the best. No one should reinforce negative thoughts when there's an attempt at positivism.
I sadly like Japanese culture. Anime, music, traditional culture. I despise the term "otaku". I probably spend too much time on the computer and the internet, but mostly afraid to make and maintain friendships. I dislike that I fit this stereotype, but I know I have much more to offer than fanatic fandom (which I don't practice) and obsession. I have a mind and a personality.
If I could, and I think I can, I would do my best to work hard to create a better world. Even if it's only a little thing, at least things get better. What I would love to do is to do great humanitarian work and help people all over, at home, around the world.
I wish politics weren't so nasty, deceiving and disheartening. If only true champions of the people could succeed without the support of money and corrupt businesses.
After spending a great portion of my life hiding my feelings, I want to stop. I want to be honest. I don't want to pretend to be happy just because someone else wants me to.. it doesn't make me feel better.
I'm a little sad that I'm not as well read as I should be, though I know that I'm more well read than most, I don't put myself to other people's standards. I believe I'm intelligent and I can think and explore ideas, but because I'm not as well read, I feel inferior when people want to go into specialized discussion. I may not know everything, but I'd like to listen. Sometimes, I may not agree, but hopefully I'll be rational enough not to be do so in a aggressive/defensive manner.
Just a little bit.. a little bit at a time, let's make everything better.
various alias I go or have gone by:
- cygnet
- kalisa
- Verona
ConnectInterests (20):
anguish, bed, best friends, cocco, depression, dr.pepper, drawing, ellipses, happiness, kodomo no omocha, lemonade, love, maybe, misery, music, my broken heart, nothing, ping pong (movie/comic), sleeping, social anxiety disorder
External Services:
 | kinuhane@livejournal.com | |
 | kalisa no omocha |  |
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